The Story of Us
by domxnstrousthings
Summary: In the second grade, Barry Allen meets Caitlin Snow and he decides, the second he looks at her with her pigtails and her shirt that's his favorite shade of red and her shy smile, that he's a little bit in love with her. Snowbarry childhood friends AU


**Title:** The Story of Us  
 **A/N:** thanks to Chasingblue57 for requesting a childhood friends AU! I've never written anything where the characters are kids so this was a fun challenge.

* * *

 **Second Grade**

In the second grade, Barry Allen meets Caitlin Snow and he decides, the second he looks at her with her pigtails and her shirt that's his favorite shade of red and her shy smile, that he's a little bit in love with her.

Mr. Thawne had seated the two of them next to each other and he shyly introduces himself to her.

She looks at him kind of funny, like she isn't quite sure what to make of him. Barry feels nervous, like maybe he's made a mistake somehow. After a few beats, in a confused little voice, she asks, "Your name is _berry_?"

Barry flushes but doesn't respond. His real name is _way_ more embarrassing.

She tilts her head to the side as if analyzing him. "I like it," she decides and sticks out her small hand. "I'm Caitlin Snow."

* * *

"What's wrong?"

Caitlin looks over at Barry from the patch of grass she's sitting on, half glaring/half staring at their classmates playing some game of pretend involving princesses and knights.

Caitlin crosses her arms stubbornly over her chest. "I asked if I could play as a knight but they said that girls could only be princesses!" it all comes out in a burst of seven year old rage, the injustice plain in her tone.

Barry doesn't quite get it. "Why don't you just be a princess then?"

Caitlin sighs like he's just asked a dumb question. " _Because,_ Barry," she stresses. "Being a princess is no fun. All you do is sit and wait for the knights to save you. I want to do my _own_ saving."

Barry stares at her even after she's turned back to watch the game. Oh yeah, he was _definitely_ a little bit in love with her.

 **Third Grade**

In third grade, Cisco Ramon moves to town. He latches onto Caitlin and Barry instantly and before long, the three are inseparable.

Together, they rule the science fair, each of them going home with big grins and first place ribbons.

 **Fourth Grade**

In the fourth grade, Iris West moves into the house next to Barry's. She's nice and cheery and friendly and Caitlin has no reason not to instantly like her.

But she doesn't.

She's not exactly sure how to describe the weird feeling she gets whenever she sees Iris and Barry hanging out and smiling and laughing as though they've been friends for ages. But they haven't. _She_ and Barry have been friends for ages. He still remembers that doesn't he?

And just when Caitlin's beginning to realize that maybe she's jealous (which is ridiculous, Barry is _her_ best friend, one girl won't change that), Barry grins over at her and waves her over.

The jealousy falls from her shoulders and she grins back, her ponytail bouncing as she runs to join them.

 **Fifth Grade**

In the fifth grade, Caitlin secretly feels as though she's lost Barry as her best friend. It's a totally selfish thought, she knows, with all things considered.

Because Barry's mom is dead. His father's going to prison.

And she's worried about him forgetting about her. He obviously has _much_ more important things on his mind than her feelings.

She feels so bad about feeling bad that she nearly drives Cisco up a wall with her worrying (he's the only person she dares to confide in about this particular subject).

But she can't help it. Whereas _she_ used to be the one always by his side, it's now _Iris_ that's glued to Barry.

She understands deep down that it makes sense- Barry's gone to _live_ with Iris for heaven's sake! He _should_ like being around her.

But Caitlin misses being the one to comfort him. She feels as though she's hardly seen him since the word of Nora Allen's death reached her.

"Then just go talk to him, Cait," Cisco says exasperated as she worries at him for probably the fifth time that day. They're sitting in his basement. He's playing video games, she's staring off into space.

She fidgets nervously with her hands. "What if he doesn't want me to?" she worries. "What if that's why he hasn't been talking to me? What-"

"Caitlin," Cisco sets down the controller, turning to face her. "He hasn't gone out of his way to talk to me either. _I've_ had to seek _him_ out. He's got a lot on his plate."

He goes back to his game and Caitlin knows he's still talking to her but she doesn't hear a word he's saying.

Has _she_ been unintentionally avoiding _him_?

* * *

Cisco basically kicks her out. He grew tired of listening to her woes so he sent her on her way, threatening her with "If you don't go talk to Barry, I'm going to tell your dad that you broke his old test tubes last week!"

It was pretty easy for Caitlin to get out of there after that. She wasn't even supposed to be _touching_ her dad's test tubes.

So she's standing in front of Barry's door.

 _Iris'_ door.

She swallows thickly and knocks before her nerves get the better of her. What is she supposed to say in a situation like this? She spoke to him briefly at the funeral but there honestly hadn't been much talking done by anyone there. She'd just stood by his side with the hopes that she was being reassuring instead of clingy.

And _when_ did she start worrying about being clingy with her best friend?

She shakes her head because, honestly, she's being ridiculous.

She doesn't have any more time to think, though, because suddenly the door is opening and before either of them can get a word in, Caitlin is launching herself into Barry's arms.

He stumbles back a step but his arms go around her without a second thought, which warms her to her toes.

"Cait," he says in a surprised tone.

"I'm sorry," she says in a rush. "I haven't been there for you enough. I've been totally selfish thinking that you didn't want me around anymore and you know how bad I am in situations like this. I'm… sorry."

He pulls back still looking confused but not at all unhappy to see her. "I'm not really sure what this is about," Barry admits. "But I have cookies in my room."

She follows him in without another word.

 **Sixth Grade**

In the sixth grade- their first year out of elementary school, a terrifying and exhilarating fact- Ronnie Raymond moves to town. He and Barry are in the same advisory, and click instantly. They seem to share the same views and sense of humor and Barry's confident that he's found a new friend to add to their little group.

That is, until her introduces Ronnie to Caitlin.

They hit it off, too, that isn't the problem. In fact, it's just the opposite.

They seem to like each other _too_ well.

It doesn't make sense when he words it like that, but he doesn't like seeing them together. But that definitely does _not_ mean that Barry is jealous. Because why would he be?

He knows that lots of his other friends were starting to date- it was just a thing that happened in sixth grade- but he hasn't really given much thought to the fact that Caitlin could easily do the same.

It just feels weird to think about. Seeing Caitlin and Ronnie smile at each other- in a borderline non platonic kind of way- made him feel all twisted up inside.

 _It's probably just because she hardly knows Ronnie,_ he convinces himself. He just wants what's best for her, after all.

 **Seventh Grade**

Unfortunately, that doesn't stop them from having crushes on each other. Caitlin makes a point of never outwardly admitting it to Barry or Cisco- because she feels weird talking about _boys_ with other boys- but Ronnie doesn't mind talking about her every time she isn't in the room.

It makes Barry want to grind his teeth in annoyance. Doesn't he have _anything_ better to talk about then his best friend's hair? It makes him feel uncomfortable to actually think of Caitlin as… a _girl_.

A girl that someone could date at least.

The worst part for Barry is that Cisco is all for the two of them being together. He thinks they could be, like, some power couple. Barry thinks it'd just be uncomfortable.

They bring it up- yet again- and Barry doesn't quite manage to keep his mouth shut.

"Don't you think it'll make hanging out with everyone… weird?"

Ronnie stares at him like he's just proclaimed that he has a secret fetish for tap dancing rodents. "What?"

Barry shrugs, feeling self conscious. "I'm just saying, what if you break up? It could break up our friends."

Ronnie rolls his eyes. "That would never happen."

Barry isn't sure whether he's talking about himself and Caitlin or their group of friends.

"Don't be a hypocrite, Barry," Cisco pops in, sending him a signature mischievous grin over his lollipop. "We all see how you look at Iris."

Barry can feel his face burning but doesn't bother denying it. They've been heckling him about his _teeny_ tiny crush on Iris for months. They think it's hilarious that he likes the girl he's living with. Ronnie thinks it seems incestuous. Barry thinks he should punch Ronnie.

Barry lets the subject drop without another word because _speak of the devil-_ or _devils_ in this case- _and he shall appear._ Iris and Caitlin walk into Barry's room, dropping their backpacks onto the floor and themselves onto the bed, making some offhand comment that makes Cisco and Ronnie laugh. Barry smiles weakly.

Why was being a teenager so complicated?

* * *

Caitlin has never been to a school dance.

The fact looms over her as she sifts through the dresses piled up on her bed. Iris sits on the floor.

"How fancy am I supposed to dress for this?" Caitlin asks, glancing at the other girl over her shoulder, auburn hair falling into her face. She blows the strands out of her face.

Iris shrugs, leafing through some trashy magazine that Caitlin hated. "It's a school dance."

"Yeah, but what does that _mean_?"

Iris laughs at her friend's distress, much to Caitlin's displeasure, and sets her magazine in her lap. "You are _way_ too worried about this."

"I'm just not sure if I should go more on the casual or classy side of things," Caitlin pouts.

Iris stands, surveying the dresses that are covering every inch of Caitlin's bedspread. She pauses, judging them all, before grabbing an icy blue one. "This one would look really nice with your eyes," she comments. "Not to mention, it's a color that Ronnie likes."

Caitlin's face automatically bursts into flames. "R-Ronnie?" she asks, trying her best to sound innocent. She wishes that she were a better liar. "Why are y-"

"You can drop the act, Caitlin," Iris smiles mischieviously. "We both know that he likes you back."

Caitlin turns so that her back is to Iris; she doesn't want her friend to see her face. "Well, if that were true, he would have asked me to the dance." She says it matter of factly, like it's a set-in-stone truth and not a speculation.

Caitlin can practically feel Iris rolling her eyes. "You know how boys are, they're all too scared to approach us. Why do you think nobody asked me either? It certainly isn't because I'm not appealing."

Caitlin turns and meets Iris's eyes. It's silent for all of two seconds before the two burst into laughter.

When their giggles die down, Caitlin tries to regain some of the slight-seriousness that had been in their conversation. "You know," she says, her voice a little breathy from laughter. "If he'd had the nerve, Barry would have asked you."

Iris looks at her. She'd been still kind of giggling from before, but at Caitlin's words she lets out a loud laugh. _"Barry?_ Barry, as in, my almost- _brother_ , Barry?"

Caitlin shrugs. "He likes you."

Iris wrinkles her nose. "There's no way that is even remotely true." She slides back into her seat on the floor.

"Why would you say that?" Caitlin pushes. How is it that Barry's feelings are so obvious to everyone _but_ Iris?

Iris picks up her magazine, leafing through it to find the page that she was on. "Because," she says, sounding way too nonchalant for Caitlin's comfort. "I always thought that he liked you."

* * *

Caitlin does end up wearing the blue dress to the dance. Ronnie _and_ Barry both compliment her on it, which puzzles her. No boy had ever really complimented her before unless they liked her, and there's no way that _Barry_ would _ever_ like _her_.

That's what she tells herself as she awkwardly, carefully dances with Ronnie, watching Barry talk with Iris over his shoulder.

 **Eighth Grade**

Caitlin grins expectantly up at Barry, the excitement clear on her face, and Barry can't help the way his heart jumps.

At his silence, the smile slides off her face. "Are-aren't you going to say anything?" the confusion is evident on her face, as it should be, he knows. This is the sort of thing that _should_ make your best friend happy.

"That's great, Caitlin," Barry tells her after another long moment of quiet. "I'm really glad that Ronnie finally asked you out."

"That didn't sound very sincere," Caitlin accuses, tilting her head, causing her curls to tumble over her shoulder in a rather mesmerizing way. "I know it's weird for us to talk about the… _relationship_ stuff, but I just wanted to be the first to tell you."

Barry's at a loss. He always figured that Caitlin and Ronnie would go out at some point, but he's not really sure what to tell her now that the time has actually come.

"I'm just glad that you're happy," Barry tells her sincerely. "You are happy, aren't you?"

Caitlin stares at him for a moment before giving her head a minute shake, to clear her thoughts, he knows. He knows all her tells. "Y-yeah," she nods, still looking at him strangely. "I am."

* * *

His phone is lighting up with Caitlin's name.

Under normal circumstances, Barry would answer without hesitation, but tonight, he pauses. He knows he's being totally selfish, but he can't help it.

Tonight was Caitlin's first date with Ronnie.

God, Barry is so _frustrated_. Why does it bother him so much that Caitlin and Ronnie are going out? He wishes he could come up with a reasonable explanation but he _can't_. They seem to like each other a lot, which should make him happy. And Caitlin has been smiling a lot more, which should also make him happy.

Instead, all he feels is bitter.

Maybe he's jealous, jealous that they're in a relationship while Iris has banished him to the friendzone?

Barry makes up his mind, deciding that must be the case, and picks up his phone while it's on it's last ring.

"Hey, Cait," he feels considerably lighter, but still heavy enough to not want to be having this conversation.

"Hi Barry," Caitlin sounds so happy that Barry immediately feels guilty for almost ignoring her.

"So…" he winces at his own awkwardness. He hopes he comes off sounding teasing instead of uncomfortable. "How'd it go?"

Caitlin doesn't seem to be reading much into his words (for once), thankfully, because when she replies, she sounds absolutely... _giddy._

"It was… really nice," she sounds almost surprised. "I mean I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting but it ended up being… really nice."

She says it all in a rush, desperate to get the words out. She briefly reminds Barry of their old friend Felicity.

"Where'd you go?" he leans back on his headboard, feeling his spirits lift because at least she's _happy._

"We went to the theater and saw some awful action movie," she sounds absolutely thrilled about the fact that she hated the film. "Then we got burgers after. It was really nice."

"So you've mentioned," he teases. It doesn't sound particularly exciting but then again, maybe with the right person, it'd be amazing. "I'm glad you had fun."

 **Ninth Grade**

In the beginning of ninth grade, Eddie Thawne, some pretty blonde boy who Barry had liked until this moment, asks Iris out and it takes Barry two whole months to realize that he isn't as devastated as he probably should be.

It should be considered a good thing that he doesn't feel like his heart has been torn from his chest, but it raises the question: if he's not in love with Iris, then who? Why does he feel so _heartbroken?_

It takes him another two months to realize it's because he's in love with Caitlin.

He remembers being an eight year old kid and bashfully crushing on the intelligent brunette, but Barry hasn't thought about any of that in years. The realization is enough to make his dizzy with happiness- the recollection makes him feel lighter than he has in a long time- and an overwhelming feeling of disappointment. Just because Barry finally got his thoughts and priorities in order doesn't change the fact that Caitlin is still with Ronnie.

So, like the angsty teenager he is, Barry grabs his coat and heads for the door. A walk- even though it's storming- should be enough to clear his thoughts.

The brewing storm, after all, is nothing compared to the one brewing in his brain.

* * *

Joe West has to repeat himself three times just for Caitlin to fully be able to comprehend the situation.

"Barry's..." she says slowly, feeling like she's in one of those crazy vivid dreams she sometimes has. "...been struck by… _lightning_?"

Joe sounds so weary when he confirms it, that Caitlin realizes this should be the time when she breaks down in tears, or screams, or feels _something_ , but she's just sitting there, on her bed, staring straight ahead. It's as though her brain has shut down on her.

She shakes herself in an attempt to rid herself of her stupor. "I'll be right over," she promises, hanging up the phone not even a second later.

She's all business now, not wasting any time. "Dad!" she screams. "Dad! I need your car keys!"

Caitlin's just started driver's ed not long ago so she doesn't even have her license yet, but her father must recognize something in her voice because he hands them over with only a brief, "do you want me to come with you?" to which she replies with a soft but firm "no."

She promises to explain later, and thankfully her dad seems to trust her because she's out the door before a minute has passed since she hung up on Joe.

* * *

The drive to the hospital is dark, and Caitlin is tense the entire time. She's a good driver but she's hyper aware that it's nearly midnight and there's just been a large storm- one that caused her oldest friend to be hospitalized.

Just thinking that nearly forces a sob up Caitlin's throat, but she manages to remain composed. If Caitlin ever wants to achieve her dreams of being a doctor, she needs to maintain a calm, level-headed composure when it comes to people being injured.

She's fine as she passes through the automatic doors into the lobby. She's fine as she asks for directions to Barry's room. She's fine as she finds Joe in the waiting room with his head in his hands and Iris no where to be seen. It's only when, hours later, they finally clear Caitlin to go into Barry's room (Joe automatically tells the imposing nurse that she's family), that she loses it.

Barry's hooked up to a million different machines and he's just _lying_ there. He's not moving, he's not smiling, he's not joking. When a doctor drops the word "coma" Caitlin realizes that she might never talk to her best friend again.

She curls up into a ball, not even bothering to wait for the doctor to leave or to sit in the plastic chair that's a foot to her left, and begins to cry thick, heavy tears. She hasn't felt this empty since her mother's death when she was five.

Only this time, she'd always be able to recall who Barry was. If he died now, she'd never be able to fill the hole he'd left in her heart.

Sometime, it might've been hours or just minutes later, Caitlin rises from the floor, straightens her clothes, doesn't bother wiping her tears and exits back to the waiting room. Ronnie, Eddie, Iris and Cisco are all waiting for her.

Ronnie wraps his arms around her, and without a second thought, she sinks into his touch, but, for the first time, his warmth isn't the comfort she's desperate for. For the first time, she wishes that instead of Ronnie, it was Barry with his arms around her.

* * *

A month later, more devastating news reaches her.

Ronnie's moving. Across the country. He tells her with a pained look on his face and the "we're over" remains heavy in the air, unspoken as it is.

At this point, Caitlin feels as though for the past thirty days, someone has repeatedly been slamming bricks into her heart. For the most part, she's kept her steely facade, and even as a single tear slips from her eye, her face remains passive.

She doesn't comprehend how she replies but suddenly Ronnie's walking out her front door and that's that. She cries when she hears his truck pull out of the driveway but she hardly even notices.

Two of the most important boys in her life: gone within a month of each other.

What awful thing did she do to deserve this?

Iris doesn't come to school much after Barry's been declared "in a coma." She wants to spend all her time at Barry's bedside and Caitlin knows Joe can't bring himself to tell her no. Caitlin, on the other hand, keeps up her studies, does her homework, takes her finals and ends her freshman year with straight A's and still no Barry at her side.

Cisco's been good company for her, comforting her whenever she cracks. Ronnie calls her occasionally but neither of them are good at small talk. After a while they both stop bothering. She knows that he still talks to Cisco, even if it's just to check up on Barry, but she can't help feeling hurt.

She wonders if she were in love with Ronnie. She thinks she might have been, or at least could have been.

 **Tenth Grade**

After the first day of Sophomore year, Caitlin goes to the hospital to visit Barry. It's the first time in so many years that they haven't walked through the doors together and the realization makes Caitlin's ears ring.

When she traces the path to his room, she finds- unsurprisingly- that Iris is already there. She's grabbing his hand and breaks off mid- sentence when Caitlin comes in and for a wild second she thinks that Barry's woken up and he's talking with Iris.

But no, he's still slumbering obliviously. Caitlin isn't surprised. Sometimes she talks to Barry when she comes too.

The way Iris is staring at her makes Caitlin feel like she's intruding on a private moment, and she steps sideways, to take the seat on the other side of Barry, suddenly feeling uncomfortable around the girl Barry's infatuated with.

"Hey Iris," she says quietly.

"I'm surprised you still remember him," Iris snips back as a way of greeting. Caitlin jerks back in shock. She wasn't expecting that response. She and Iris have never been _super_ close- at least not as close as she and Barry- but Caitlin had thought that they'd bonded, if only over the fact that they were the only girls in their group.

"What?" Caitlin replies, at a loss.

"You've hardly been here to see him these past few months," Iris accuses, her mouth set in a hard line. Her eyes are shiny and Caitlin can tell it's just been one of those days for Iris.

"I-" Caitlin starts lamely, not really sure what to say that will satisfy the other girl. It's true, she hasn't been here as much as Iris, but only _Barry_ has been here more than Iris.

"Don't make excuses," Iris stands up abruptly. Caitlin does the same because, at the moment, she doesn't want to have a height disadvantage. She has a feeling this visit is not going to be the peaceful one she'd hoped for. "You're his _best friend_! You should _be there_ for him!"

She spits the words like they're poison and Caitlin has to resist the urge to physically cringe away.

"I'm _sorry_ ," Caitlin bursts back, surprising herself with the anger she feels. "That I can't spend all my time here watching him _sleep_! You and I both know he isn't waking up anytime soon! It's been _six months_ , Iris! I can't spend my whole life here wishing things were different! He would want us to _move on_!"

"Stop talking about him like he's dead!"

Iris is yelling now, and even though part of Caitlin knows she isn't really mad at her, she can't help arguing back. Maybe this isn't just _Iris_ needing to get her emotions out there. Caitlin has spent so many months bottled up…

Caitlin glances out the doorway quickly, wincing. The last thing she needs is to make too much racket and get kicked out of the hospital. She moves to stick a finger over her mouth, to motion for silence but Iris just scoffs furiously.

"Are you actually telling me to be quiet? Who am I going to wake? _Barry_?" Her voice breaks.

It's silent for a few seconds. "I'll visit more," Caitlin ventures softly.

Iris nods, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. "Thank you."

* * *

Three months later, Barry wakes up with both Caitlin and Iris by his side.

* * *

Barry almost tells her about his feelings two months after her wakes up. They're eating lunch outside on the grassy field. It's just the two of them- Cisco was studying in the library and Iris was going out to lunch with Eddie- and she's just sitting there, rolling a grape pensively on the pads of her fingers. The sunlight is reflecting off her hair and totally blinding him but he can't even bring himself to mind.

He almost blurts out that he's loved her since they were eight. Almost being the key word, because suddenly she glances up and furrows her brow at the look on his face. "What's wrong?" she asks, hands coming up to feel her own face. "Why are you staring at me? Do I have food on my face?"

He assures her she doesn't, but he also doesn't answer her question. The moment is gone.

 **Eleventh Grade**

When he actually does tell Caitlin how he feels, the situation is less than ideal.

Long story short: they're back at the hospital, only this time, it's not because of him.

Short story long: Caitlin's family had decided to go on a roadtrip for winter break but as luck would have it, they got caught in a car wreck in the middle of a snowstorm. Translation: the roads were blocked and they were there lying in the snow- _unconscious_ , he's told, which causes his heart to beat painfully fast- for _hours_ before any help could reach them.

"Your girlfriend got lucky," a kindly old nurse tells him after he's been sitting in the hospital waiting room for over an hour waiting to hear something. It's three in the morning so he's too tired to correct her about their relationship, but he does feel noticeably heavier when she says that. He almost missed his chance _again_.

"She has hypothermia, but not severe enough to cause permanent damage," the nurse continues and Barry sags in relief. "She fractured a couple ribs and sprained her wrist but she'll definitely make a full recovery. Like I said, lucky girl."

"Can I visit her now?" Barry really hopes it sounds less pathetic to her ears than it does to his own.

The nurse glances around and leans towards him, a twinkle in her eyes. "I'm supposed to tell you to wait until morning, but she just woke up a couple of minutes ago. She's been asking for you."

With that, the women walks away, smiling at Barry in that way that a grandmother would if they let their grandchild have a cookie after their parents already told them no. Barry stands there for a moment, blinks, and then takes off down the hallway he saw Caitlin being wheeled through.

He shudders at the memory of her lying on a stretcher, skin frighteningly blue.

He slows once he approaches the door marked with her name and opens it cautiously, so as not to startle her. He shouldn't have bothered though because she's sitting up when he enters, noticeably brightening when she sees that it's him.

"Barry," she smiles tiredly at him, looking worn out but still beautiful. Her face is a little scratched up and there's a bruise on her temple but he's never been more happy to see her.

"Iris called me," he says as a reply, perching carefully on the edge of her bed. "She, Eddie and Cisco are coming by first thing this morning."

Caitlin nods, then winces a bit. "I'll be glad to see them."

Barry nods, suddenly feeling awkward and self conscious. He has all this worry and panic just sitting on his chest and he doesn't quite know how to express it. Was this how Caitlin felt all those months he was in a coma?

"How are your parents?" he asks after several long beats of silence. God, what's wrong with him? Why can't he talk to her all of a sudden?

"Good," she replies, smiling a little. "Apparently I got the worst of it, which," she interrupts herself quickly, "didn't even end up being too bad. I mean, I'm still here and I feel fine for the most part, although I am still kind of cold and my ribs don't feel awesome but it could've been a lot worse and-"

Barry stops her rambling by grabbing her hand. It's freezing, but then again, her skin is always cold so it doesn't faze him much. "You sound like Felicity," he says fondly.

"Sorry." he thinks she would be blushing if she weren't still suffering from hypothermia.

It's quiet for a few moments longer.

"You know," Barry starts quietly, and he just knows. He knows he's about to tell her and he knows it's a terrible time but he knows that he doesn't care. "When I woke up from my coma, I realized something."

Caitlin smiles teasingly. "What, that that lightning scrambled your brains? I mean, you tried out for track, for god sake!"

It's true. He did. Which was totally out of character, but definitely not the point.

"What- no. I meant I realized something about you and I," he says, feeling a little flustered, but now he's determined to get the words out. The worst she can do is shoot him down. Though, to be fair, that does sound pretty bad to him.

"Oh?" she says, confusion evident in her face and her tone.

Barry bops his head in affirmation. "I realized that if I'd died…" he takes a deep breath. "You would never really know how I felt about you. And that alone would kill me. And then tonight, we almost lost each other again."

Caitlin is silent but Barry can't bring himself to look up at her face, opting instead to stare over her shoulder at her heart rate monitor beeping steadily in the corner.

"How you felt?" Caitlin says eventually, voice soft and riddled with an emotion he can't quite decipher. Her heart rate picks up slightly on the monitor.

Barry finally meets her eyes. "I love you Caitlin."

She doesn't hesitate with her answer. "I love you, too."

Barry, however, pauses at this, clearly thrown off. "No, I- I'm trying to tell you that I _love_ you. As more than a best friend. I love you as in, I want to take you out on dates and hold hands with you in the hallway and be able to kiss you whenever I want. That's how I love you."

Caitlin looks at him like she does when he's said something particularly stupid. "I know, and my answer still stands: I love you too."

She says it in that stubborn Caitlin Snow way that she has and Barry finally lets a smile creep onto his face. "Really?" he asks, his voice soft with hope.

She rolls her eyes fondly. "Of course I do, you big dork."


End file.
